Instuctions for nursing while riding in the back seat

Yesterday I gained a new skill (and a new "inappropriate nursing" item to add to my list): nursing while driving. Mind you, the husband was the one behind the wheel, so technically I was being driven but that sounds a lot less sexy. Don't worry, I'm not quite as crazy as that woman last February who was actually driving the car and nursing her baby. Plus, I love my baby and that's why he rides in a rear-facing car seat in the back seat. Can I get an amen?

In case any of you mommas out there are looking for something fun to do on a Sunday night, here's my how-to for nursing in the back seat.

1. At the risk of offering unsolicited advice, do not even think about taking that baby out of the car seat. Period. ( Have you seen the videos of babies flying through windshields when a car crashes? If not, you might wanna take a look at this.)
2. Optional: Drape a blanket over the side of the car seat closest to the window. I would recommend this because this nursing position is not a semi-exposure one. You're gonna have the whole wobbly chewed thing out there and you never know when your friendly neighborhood pervert might pull up right next to you and stop.
3. Pull up shirt.
4. Unsnap bra on side closest to car seat.
5. Lean, I tell ya! Lean and pull that girlie out as far as you can--let's face it, she's never going to be a perky little thing again anyway.
6. With any luck your baby will latch on to your poor exposed nipple and suck it for all it's worth.
7. Hold on to the headrest of the front seat to balance yourself with free hand.
8. Continue to support your working breast with other hand, making sure you keep all your fingers tucked in so you don't jab your little one in the eyeball if the car goes over a pot hole.
9. Pray that your baby accepts the breast stuck in his face and drifts off to sleep for the rest of the car ride.
10. Take a moment to point out your marvelous inappropriate breastfeeding to whoever is driving. Trust me, it will bring sexy back.